Its okay, even the sky cries sometimes.

Last week, a little boy in my parents neighborhood was hit and killed by a car.

The driver of the car wasn’t speeding. He wasn’t texting and wasn’t distracted in any way.

A football practice consisting of 8-9th grade boys was just ending, and the young boys leaving the practice happened to whiteness the entire accident.

The distraught mom of this little boy was only feet away as her young son was struck by the car, and her cries could be heard from the Jr high across the street.

Although efforts to save the boy were put forth, he was pronounced dead at the scene cradled in the arms of his mom.

 His name was Cole.
 He was 3 years old.

A few days later at Cole’s funeral, the church was full of family, friends, neighbors and strangers coming to show their support for this family. Seated in the congregation was the group of Jr. High football players, dressed in their football jerseys.

On the front row, Cole’s family sat with the man who accidentally took their little boy’s life.
Not only was Cole’s family sitting with this man, but they were surrounding him with nothing but love, peace and warmth.


 7 months ago I started working at a bank in Springville. During my first week of work, I met a lady who not only was hilarious and fun to be around but also has a love for Harry Potter. After a week of working with this lady, I noticed how lucky I was to have met her. We quickly realized how much we had in common and we became friends really fast.

3 weeks ago today, this friend found out she had fluid in her lung. After a few weeks of having some funky symptoms and a couple of doctor’s appointments later, this woman was told she would have to take a few months off of work in order for her to get completely better. Although I was sad that my ‘Harry Potter Loving’ buddy wouldn’t be at work with me every day, I was happy with the idea of her finally feeling better. So, after a quick goodbye was made, it was decided that we would get some lunch or drinks and catch up soon. Sadly, none of this actually happened.

A short time after she left work, she got more sick. Her symptoms increased and she realized that things may be more serious than she thought. Another trip to the doctor and after some more tests, it was determined that the fluid was actually a blood clot.

I would love to say that the blood clot got better and shortly after, she returned to work. But that is not the case.

Yesterday, this friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer, with a terminal outcome and no treatment options.

Along with the cancer in her lungs, it was found in her brain.

In the last 24 hours (after a surgery or two and a stroke as well) she has become less alert and she is unable to communicate.

Today her family was told she may not make it to tonight.

Today I am feeling what a broken heart truly feels like.

I'm realizing the value of friendship and how quickly things can change.
Tonight I'm going to hug my family a lot tighter and love my friends a lot more.
Tonight I'm learning to add meaning to my life.
As sad as I am, and as depressing as life can seem.. I'm counting my blessings.

I am trying really really hard to see the positive.
I'm realizing how lucky I am to be healthy and happy.
And to have a family and friends with the same things.
I'm realizing how much I love my work family and the bonds that we have together.

Tonight, a family is grieving the loss of their 3 year old son, brother, and child. They are also showing the world that life goes on but that its OK to be sad. They have shown me what true forgiveness is. They're teaching me a whole new meaning of love.

Tonight another family is at the bedside of they're mother, sister, and daughter and they are prepping their selves for the worst.

Tonight will end.
Tomorrow will come.
And it's up to me (and you) to make the best of it while we still can.

This is me.

We are having another slow day at work so I figured it would be a good time to write another post. I have so many thoughts jumbled in my head and it’s usually pretty easy for me to write them out. For some reason, everything I can think of writing about seems so lame.

It’s crazy how much has changed since my last real post and how much actually hasn’t changed too.

I recently moved out. I didn’t move far, only about 20 minutes away from my parents. And can I just say it is crazy how much freedom I have recently gained? Living at home, I didn’t have rules (other than the fact that I had to help around the house and I didn’t get to choose if I waited to load the dishes) I did my own thing. I am a pretty good girl and I’ve never had a curfew or a desire to be rebellious.
My parents have always been pretty chill with me because they got a LOT of experience with my older sister and I am an angel compared to her. So when I actually moved out, I felt like life wouldn’t be much different. Boy was I wrong.

In the last year of living on my own, I have been lucky [or unlucky] enough to go through multiple different roommates. When I say different, I don’t mean just different girls. I mean different from one extreme to the other.  I’ve had great roommates, some not so great roommates, and one really horrible roommate. But you know what? I could list something positive about each one of them.

I’ve made friends.
I’ve made memories.
I’ve even made messes in the kitchen and not cleaned up until the next day. J

I’ve learned the true meaning of patience.
I’ve learned that everyone is different and that is okay.
I’ve learned to step outside of my comfort zone. 

Most importantly.. living on my own, I’m learning ME.

I’m figuring out who Shay is.
What Shay likes. 
What Shay wants.

I’ve learned that I love art.
I like to draw.
paint.
read.
I like music.
I like playing the piano.
I like to run.

I’m (VERY) slowly learning that it is possible to even like myself.

And if that’s all I focus on for now, I am completely okay with that.

OH my goodness, I am back.


Thanks to my lovely friend NaTasha, I have decided to pick up on blogging again. Don't ask why I went MIA for a while there.

Because I don't have an answer.
I was jut going through my old posts and I realized that I have written multiple but never actually published them. I love going back in time and reading what my immature mind had to say about life, over 4 years ago. Quite comical if you ask me.

 I DO find it quite interesting the the last post I wrote but failed to publish publicly was regarding my stance on same-sex-marriage. And I find it very interesting that 19 year old Shay and 23 year old Shay agree with each other for the most part. I could go on and on about religion, politics, and life in general on my blog. But ask me what I think in person, and you wont get two words outs of me. Depending on who you are of course. (Sorry to those who I actually open up and never shut up to.)

I really miss writing.
It [almost] gives me the same stress relief that running does. Especially when my mind is so jam packed full of shiz and I don't want to just lose it on someone. :) Here is your formal warning: Unfollow my IG, and my Facebook if you would like. Otherwise, you may be seeing some very frequent (or infrequent) posting going on.

Fear.

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."
Unknown

I have a slightly un realistic fear.

A long time ago, in a letter/survey from a friend, I was asked; "what is your biggest fear in the world?"

Wanna know what my answer was? Being raped.

Weird huh? I've always had this weird fear of being kidnapped and raped.

Recently, I've had a huge change of mind, and a new fear has set in.

After breaking my back... (and I promise this should be the last post about it!) I realized that there may actually be something that scares me more than being raped!

For 8 weeks, I was off work.

For 7 weeks, I couldn't run,

For 6 weeks, I had to lay flat on my back.

For 5 weeks, I needed help getting out of bed.

For 4 weeks, my mom had to shower me.

For 3 (okay way more than 3) weeks, I relied on pain medicine to get me through the day.

For 2 weeks, I needed help walking or had to be pushed in a wheel chair.

For 1 week, I could barely walk.

I might be in pain for the rest of my life.
BUT, It has been worth it.

There are SO many things I want to do.
I NEED to do.
I CAN do.
I WILL do.

If at anytime I am asked what my biggest fear in te world is... My new answer is; growing up too fast.

It took breaking my back for me to realize how amazing my life is.
How amazing I AM.

I can do so many things with the life I have been given. I'm ONLY 20! There is no need to rush!

This last month I've been asked when I am getting married more times than I can count on 2 hands. I have two beautiful friends that are engaged and will soon become wives. I'm soooo happy for these girls and I love them to death. But, I'm in no hurry to be the next in line. :)

I'm too selfish to get married right now.

I'm too niave.

And I definately don't know myself enough, let alone, know someone else enough to be with for eternity!

I can't wait to see what lies ahead for me. I can't wait to start school, move out, and have time for ME and my life.

The life I've been so blessed to have.

So, here's to a bright future!

And a nursing degree in the near future :)

And EVEN a husband, and kids. In the future.

For now, I'm just a kid.

For now, I'm lovin life.. And soaking ut all in, day by day and a minute at time.

For now, I have to not only have faith in my savior.. But faith in his timing.

remembering.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.



2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.



3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.



4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.



5. Pay off your credit cards every month.



6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.



7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.



8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.



9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.



10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.



11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.



12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.



13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.



14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.



15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.



16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind..



17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.



18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.



19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.



20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.



21. Never forget to live, love and laugh.



22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.



23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.



24. The most important sex organ is the brain.



25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.



26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'



27. Always choose life.



28. Forgive everyone, everything.



29. What other people think of you is none of your business.



30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.



31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.



32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.



33. Believe in miracles.



34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you do or don't do.



35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.



36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.



37. Your children get only one childhood.



38. All that truly matters in the end is that you are loved.



39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.



40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.



41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.



42. The best is yet to come.



43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.



44. Yield.



45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Tales of tonsilitis, bloody noses, and "I don't feel good" (s) PART 1

I woke up the other day thinking about a few years ago, when I got to experience how horrible having surgery is. This is kind of something I have been wanting to document, so down the road I can read, in detail, what took place.

For my sake, I am going to start at the VERY beginning. Here is your chance to decide wheather or not you want to continue reading a VERY VERY VERY LONG post, or hit the X in the right hand corner. :)

At the end of my freshman year (9th grade) I started getting horrible headaches. At the time I had only ever had ONE migraine, and I could tell that these daily headaches were different. I tried drinking more water, getting more sleep, reducing stress in any way possible.. and nothing worked. My mom was constantly asking how I felt and always getting the response "I just dont feel good." She decided to take me to the doctor. He was extremely nice, but a little concerned about the constant headaches, so he sent us to a specialist and ordered an MRI.

The specialist was kind of mean! First off, his office scared the crap out of me! He had all sorts of tools and instraments that I hadnt ever seen at my regular doctors office.. and second, it took him like 45 minutes to look up my nose, in the throat and ears and then say "I would like for you to have some allergy testing done, to rule out a few things." And like that he was gone. He talked to us a whole 5 minutes and left us with questions unanswered.

Fast forward a week, and I found my self sitting in Brother Boyce's seminary class. Someone had said something funny and I let out a quick "nose laugh". (ya know? where you lightly blow a little air our of your nose.. but you dont completely laugh?) In the middle of this little nose laugh, not only did air come out, but blood too.[This was one of many bloody noses I would experience in a years time... I had no idea what I was in for!] In comple embarrassment I ran straight to the bathroom.

I will spare you the details of the murder scene I left in the Mapleton Seminary Building.. Lets just say, Brother Boyce was concerned enough, that after about 25 minutes he politely knocked on the bathroom door and told me I needed to call my mom and go home. He cleaned up the mess, and a week later we were laughing about the whole ordeal.

Long story short (ha! Do I dare say that?) I had MANY days like the on mentioned above.. They consisted of headaches, bloody noses, and leaving school early.

A billion needle pokes and an MRI later, and we were back in the specialists office. Scared of what he was going to find on the MRI, and terrified I was going to be allergic to anything from horses, to grass, to hair.. the doctor came in and explained that I had a severly deciviated septum. Treatment for it was surgery, but in my case it wasn't necessary. He recommended a nasal spray for the bloody noses and ibuprofen for the headaches. He also told me I wasn't allergic to anything!

Sophomore year began, the bloody noses and headaches continued. I would occasionally miss school due to non stop nose bleeds.. And I suddenly started catching colds like crazy.
Every night when I would lay down to sleep, my nose would plug up, I would sleep with my mouth open, and dry my throat out. All of this would result in a cold and I would be miserable for about a week. I would sleep in (missing seminary) and tell my mom "I just dont feel good."

Over time, all of the horrible-ness, ceased and I was starting to feel better! I was only having bloody noses once or twice a month, the headaches were not nearly as often or bad, and I was used to constantly having a cold.

Life went on, and I continued to put up with my annoying issues. I made it to my senior year, and BAM one morning I woke up, sweaty, shaking, and feeling like i had been swimming. After one or two attempts of getting up, I felt like my body was strapped to the bed. I was so weak and could barely move. That's when I noticed the blood. In my hair, on my shirt, wall, blankets, phone. Everywhere.

Sometime in the night I had gotten a bloody nose. I bled and bled and bled... For who knows how long! I composed myself, shakily walked to the bathroom and turned on the sink. And what do ya know? My nose started bleeding even more! Drip drip drip. Steadily, dripping from my nose. In attempt to not swallow any blood, I tilted my head forward and held a cold wash cloth and a little pressure on my nose.

Again, I will spare you the details of what happened, but it ended in disaster. I had lost too much blood. I was getting dizzy, sick to my stomach and I had to be to school in 45 minutes.

My mom came down, realized this was probably one of the worst bloody noses I'd had (I had another one like this on a vacation an literally left a puddle of blood in a public restroom.) and we decided enough was enough.

We got an appointment with an ENT specialist and counted down the days until we could get some answers.

To be continued...

Summer is alomost here! I have been counting down the days until my shift change at work. I love working during the summer because I am completely finished wiht my shift by noon, and I have a full day to  myself. It looks as though I am not going to have to worry about that anymore, because I was recenlty laid off for the summer. I am somewhat sad about it, but also kind of relieved. I can have my job back in the fall and I can just kind of enjoy myself and the warm weather for a few months.
Warm weather! Oh man it has been wonderful. I love the sun, the birds, even the crazy horses. I could spend hours outside with my pup... infact, that is our new thing. He literally sits by the door waiting to go out. He refuses to go out alone, and waits until I am willing to go out there with him. Usually after a good breakfast and a little cleaning, we will spend a while on the porch. I have yet to get him to like the trampoline.

Speaking of warm weather, it is now warm enough to go on morotcycle rides! I went for the first time since I broke my back and it was soooo fun! I love it. Its also warm enough for popcicles. AND swimming. (well at least it was warm enough for swimming in Moab) :) This year was really fun. I enjoyed it, even though it felt rushed and not near long enough. I guess that is all the more reason to plan another roadtrip back!



I recently became obsessed with nutella. Nutella on bread, fruit, waffles, by the spoon, on crackers, smores.. nutella EVERYTHING. It is so stinkin good.


On saturday, we will be going to the lake. It should be pretty fun! Karlee has cancelled on me twice! (yeah, I have to actually schedule time with me sister) --ok maybe not. But we had planned to go onTthursday, Friday and now Saturday... due to her popularity. Hopefully we will actually make it there!
Mothers day is coming up too! I am very excited. What is better than celebrating how amazing your mom is? I have to teach in RS on suday. Which is a bummer, because I wanted to go to church with my mama. AND I taught on Easter too. I guess I should count it as a blessing though because it means there are usually only like 8 sisters there and it makes it easier to teach. I was recently called at RS Secratary. Its funny because I am the Sunday School Secretary, An RS instructor and the RS secretary. Busy busy busy.. and yet, I barely do anything :) HA!
Anyway, I am off to eat my waffles with nutella. And perhaps Ill even do some laundry. Or I could even go comfort Madie as she barfs in the toiled! :( (Dumb Migraine)
 I'm out!

Yes, madie can drive.... ahhhhhh.

Colored jeans. As bold as I get.

Sometimes dreams are so... Weird.

I'm sure we've all experienced it at one time or another.

Waking up from a dream, scarred and completely confused why your mind would do that to you.

Waking up from a dream, to the harsh reality of life.

Waking up from a dream and writing down every bit of it so you remember every little detail.

Waking up from a dream, completely satisfied with it, and the fact that you remembered it.

Or even, waking up from a nightmare, bawling and being so happy it was JUST a nightmare.

I'm not talking about any of these...

I'm talking about THE dream. I've only had two of these in my life.
Maybe I just sound completely crazy?

Maybe I'm nuts and nobody can relate.

The type of dream I'm talking about is the type that isn't really MY dream at all..There is no way I even thought it by myself. There HAD to be a higher power involved.

Have you ever had a dream like that?

I did.
Last night.

And this morning.. I woke up with a distinct person in mind, a distinct family. I need to talk to them. Let them know I'm here for them, the savior loves them, and that no matter what, things are going to get better.

Interesting huh?

Oh the mysteries of life..

PLEASE READ: it will be worth it!

WARNING: graphic image of a sweet little girl, after a terrible accident.

Meet Princess Payton! She is a beautiful 2 year old who got attacked by a red healer in late august 2011. The dog viciously bit her head and face causing severe lacerations and eye injury requiring emergency neurosurgery. She received 200 stitches and had a metal plate placed near her eye to support the bone damage.









She has been so strong through all of this and has had an amazing attitude about everything. She is recovering extremely well, but the doctors are worried that she might lose vision in her eye and she may need another surgery to repair her eye brow.





Her parents are stuck paying thousands of dollars of medical bills because their insurance only paid a small portion of them.




Her mother and aunt are selling hair clips to help raise money.




There are also jars set up that say Pennies for Payton at multiple gas stations. Any help is appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this :)


They have a blog setup with a donation button if you wish to donate that way http://elmerfamilyblog.blogspot.com/?spref=fb
we also have an account set up at UCCU under Payton Elmer for donations as well.

You can join their group on Facebook too! Do it!

http://www.facebook.com/groups/119861651365511/members/

Inspire x2

I have been following a really inspiring blog about a mother who lost her daughter Lucy. Check out her blog! She is awesome, posts wonderfully, and inspires.

http://jacksonparkcity.blogspot.com/p/

Love it.

Perspective.

Sometimes, you have to step outside of youself to gain a new perspective.


Sometimes, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right.


Sometimes good things fall apart so better things fall together.

I'm sore.. but I can walk.
I'm sore.. but I can talk.
I can feed myself.
I can shower myself.
I can laugh.
I can eat.
I can feel.
I can do hard things.

There are MANY things I CAN do.

I'm hurting, but I'm healing.
I'm sad, but I'm also happy.
I'm slow, but I can walk.

Over two years ago, I fell and banged my knee up pretty bad. The injury itself is gone. The scar remains there.. in its ugly, purple, and blue color.

Over 3 weeks ago, I fell and banged my body up pretty bad. The injury itself is healing. The pain remains there.. in its achy, throbbing way.

"Try stepping outside of yourself and learn from what is going on."

I learned I am a lot stronger that I thought.
I learned that Modern Medicine is amazing.
I learned that there are compassionate people willing to help at all times.
I learned that hospitals are life savers, along with the amazing doctors and nurses in them.
I learned patience.

I am happy.
I am healthy.
I am lucky.
I am blessed.
I am strong.
I am PRO at Mario Kart and Mario Party.
I am grateful.

"I believe everything happens for a reason. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things fall together."

When life dealt troubled times and had me down on my knees.. There's always been someone there to come along and comfort me.. A kind word from a stranger to lend a helping hand, a phone call from a friend just to say they understand. I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me in our darkest hours, to show us how to live, to teach us how to give, to guide us with a light of love.

There is happiness.
There is hope.
There is good.
There is love.
There is life.

The only way to do it is to do it POSITIVELY.

I WILL GET BETTER. I WILL RECOVER. I WILL.

Congratulations, you just broke yourself.

Yep. I broke my back. And injured my left elbow in the process. I'm not sure how my elbow got hurt. In fact, I'm not even sure how I BROKE my back.

We went to JUMP ON IT on saturday and I tried a trick that some boys were doing and I failed miserabaly. The workers offered to call 911 but that is all they could do. The minute I landed on my butt, I knew something was wrong because my butt wasn't hurting.. my back (in between my shoulder blades) was KILLING.

I realized I could feel my arms and legs. I could move with a LOT of pain, and once I got standing I could walk. So, we decided to just take our car and go home first. After a LONG painful 30 minute drive home, my mom met us at the car outside and knew immidiately I needed to go to the ER.

We drove to UVRMC ER and had an AMAZING experience. There were no available seats in the ER waiting room. It was a 4 hour wait. The minute we pulled up, a guy walked out with a wheelchair and helped me out of the car. I got sent to triage and when I told them what happened.. (more like my mom told them because I was in SO much pain I couldn't breathe or talk) they sent me straight back to a room with a collar on my neck.

A few minutes late Dr. Davis (the very nice Er doctor) came in and checked me out. Within an hour the very patient nurses got an IV started and pain meds going. I got a CT scan and my arm x-rayed. Life flight landed like 3 times within an hour and they said it was one of the busiest nights of the year.

I am so grateful for the Doctors and nurses that took care of me! They were so nice, caring and patiend, and very concerned. After I got my CT scan the Ct guy even came in to see how I was doing! They put a splint on my arm and told me my back was broken. Then they tried getting me to set up so I could leave. At this point it was 2:30 and I was still in a decent amout of pain. They wanted to admit me to the hospital for pain control but after one more shot of the GOOD stuff It was bearable and I could go.

Overall, I am so grateful that my broken back expreience went fairly well. It could have been so much worse. I am feeling much better. The CT guy said they always see people that fall at JUMP ON IT and the most recent one was a 19 year old boy who broken his neck and is now a parapalegic. He will never walk again. He is paralized from the neck down. I am extremely lucky and grateful.

I want my mama to know how much I love her for showering me and shaving my legs. For doing my hair and helping me put deoderant on. I love her and my family. I am so grateful for the help and all that they have done for me these past two weeks. I am soooooo grateful for Utah Valley and their kind compassionate employees.

Here are a few pictures to help you get and Idea of what we went through. Even though it wasn't the worst thing in the world, I would never wish any of this to happen to my enemys. It was SOOO painful and scary.

Here are a few pictures of our journey. I know, I look horrible. But Oh well?

What was SUPPOSED to happen.

What happened

Just after we got there.

Finally an IV.

Feelin' good. :)

My beautiful mama. Sleeping.

Sitting up after my arm was splinted.

Feelin much better!

Getting ready to leave.

A week later at the mall. (yes, I went to the mall.) I couldn't lay on the couch for a minute longer.

I love to see the temple?

Wow. I think it is safe to say, I am at a loss of words. I honestly can't begin to describe what I experienced today. I don't know how to even put my emotions into words. How about I just share the entire experience with you? Yes? Bare with me.

Oh wait. Before I begin. I have to tell you about my sister Madie. She has migranes. And by migranes, I don't mean just the usual headache. She has had them for a while, and they usually start with her seeing sparkles and one side of her face going numb. Then within 10 minutes, she is throwing up and sicker than a dog.


Now on to my experience.

Thursday night around 5, I got a text from a sister in the ward. "Ward temple night tonight at 6:30! Treats at the Bishops house after! If you need a ride let me know." [dont you hate it when....] you know deep down what you should do but you dont WANT to do it? Well, I Immidiately I knew I should be going with my ward to the temple. Unfortunately, after a lot of thinking and debating, I decided not to go.

Fast forward to 7 o'clock that night. A huge amount of guilt starts to set it. I feel horrible that I couldn't take an hour or two of my time to go to the temple with my ward. "Madie! Brin! Lets go to the temple!" For Brin it ws a school night. But Madie! Madie had 2 friends over, and the three of them together, without hesitation already start planning what skirts they are going to wear! They think it sounds fun and we plan it all out. Hold up. 2 minutes later, Madie comes down in her dress saying that she is seeing sparkles and starting to feel numb on one side.

Do we take her with us and risk her getting sick? Or do we hold off until the next day? After all, I REALLY need to go. I can feel it. And they REALLY want to. But what do we do? Ya know, God likes to test how far we are willing to go for him. Right? We decide to hold off until the next day.

The next day comes and we are all packed up and ready to go. Due to over heating issues, I decide to put a little bit of cold water into my engine so we can get to the temple on time without any problems. We leave around 3 with the hopes of getting home by 6 and we are pretty sure its all going to work ou.. But again, God likes to test how far and how much we are willing to do for him. Just past McDonalds in springville, my car starts to over heat. Its horrible! The worst smell ever, the scarriest feeling ever, and the most embarrassing thing ever.

We pull off, it cools down and we carry on. We are almost to provo.

Not bad right? Wrong. Next? SMOKE. My car starts SMOKING in the MIDDLE of the freakin road. In a panic, I hit the break turn into some BYU parking lot, slam it into park and we all BAIL out. (At this point, I was feeling like a driver of a car full of people trying to get across the border.. While Madie is screaming "Its gonna BLOW UP!!!" I think to myself.. Lets just go home. This is so not worth it.) I walk around the other side of the car to Three smiling girls that tend to think what just happened was pretty funny, and only added to the experience. "Lets let it cool and keep going." They all three start hinting.

Now is where I sadly, have to admit.. That if it were just me in my car that day, this post would be over. I would have simply given up. Drove home. And most likely been mad the rest of the night. BUT, I had three amazing girls in the car with me, and going home was NOT an option.

We sat. And sat. And did some more sitting, when what do you know?? My car is cooled down! "Maybe you should open the hood and put mor water in Shay." Madie tells me as a ignore her and start to pull out of the parking lot. (Im horrible)

Nevertheless... we start driving. We can SEE the temple. We are less than a block away! And... my car shuts off. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION. With four girls, IN skirts, ages 19 down to 13.. we are at a loss of what to do. Madie again tells me to pop the hood and check the water. But being my stubborn self I thought "I JUST filled it before we left." Within 2 seconds of my car dying, three very buff guys come walking out of an apartment and offer to push us to the side of the road. I gladly accept their offer, and next thing I know another car is pulled over asking if we need anything. I realized that there really wasn't much anyone could do. I decide to take Madie's advice and pop the hood, only to find out I am the DUMBEST person alive. After filling the water at my house before I left, I forgot to put the dumb cap back on. The water tank= COMPLETELY dry. After calling my dad and asking him to bring me water, and sitting in the heat for 30 or so minutes, A few other people offer their assistance. At one point a VERY fine looking gentleman, (I will add here that he had a name tag on because he was on his way to a class) named Chase Butler offered to pour his two water bottles into the water tank to help cool it down. He leaves and an older couple from across the street offer us their hose.

By this time, it has been 2 hours. TWO WHOLE HOURS and we are a BLOCK away from the temple. Its 5PM and we are hot a sweaty. My parent show up and help get my car cooled and running. And I tell the girls we should just go home. Nope. Not happening. They convince me that this whole experience would have no point if we decided to turn around and go home. I realized they were right and that we really have an even bigger reason to go. And ya know what? We got there at 5:15 and we were there a whole 30 minutes! I have never been to the Temple and made it through in 30 minutes! Not a soul was there. (Except for when we were leaving, a group of 20+ showed up) It was amazing. Best experience and worst experience of my life ever.

I am so grateful for the 3 innocent, fun girls I had with me. I am grateful for the tests we have on this earth that only help us to become better and push us to go farther. If you made it to the end of this post, congratulations! :) Its a long one.

Lessons Learned

1. Going with my ward would have been a LOT easier.
2. God knows what he is doing.
3. Amazing people REALLY do walk among us.
4. My parents are awesome, along with the girls I was with.
5. I will always keep two gallons of water and anifreeze in my trunk!

Thanks for reading. :)

BRANDON CURTIS 5K AND FUNRUN

HEY EVERYONE! THE BRANDON CURTIS 5K AND FUN-RUN IS COMING UP! DONT FORGET TO REGISTER. ITS GOING TO BE GREAT!!! :) CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!

A very brave soul

Daniel Allen "A Very Brave Soul"

Daniel Allen "A Very Brave Soul"

Not too long ago in Heaven, there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day, however, the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen? Why is there suffering in the world?"

God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see unlocks the love in people's hearts."

The little soul was confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

God replied, "Have you noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone." The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, "The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this­­−it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer−to unlock this love−to create this miracle−for the good of all humanity."

Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With its wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts! I want to create that miracle!"

God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul, I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave, you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however, they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. These people are your parents" God and the brave little soul shared a smile and then embraced.

In parting God said, "Do not forget, little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed." Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his love and suffering and God's strength, he unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys−some regained lost faith−many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened and God was pleased.

The world has been forever changed because Daniel is a part of it.

Thanks BRIN! I got tagged with the AMAZING BLOGGER AWARD.. even though this blog is nothing close to amazing. :)






Here it goes---



FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER:
Although Im not too big into cartoons anymore, I used to be OBSESSED with Rugrats. I LOVED Angelica.

FAVORITE THING TO PHOTOGRAPH:
I don't really have photography skills. But I love to take pictures of me and other people pulling funny faces.



FAVORITE THING TO COOK: My favorite thing in the world to cook AND eat.. CHICKEN AND LEEKS!

FAVORIITE WAY TO EXERCISE: I love to run. I especially loved Cross Country.

FAVORITE MOVIE: Anything with Johnny Depp. But I LOVE him as JACK.




FAVORITE ARTICAL OF CLOTHING: Sweats. :) COMFY.


FAVORITE FLOWER: Like my Mama, Gerber Dasies.



FAVORITE BREAKFAST: Crepes....MMMM.



FAVORITE BOOK LATELY: The Accomplice. READ IT.

FAVORITE PLACE TO BE: Anywahere warm. Florida.

FAVORITE TREAT:JaMocha Oreo Shake from Arby's.

I TAG.... http://itselizajane.blogspot.com/

and http://nicholebarton.blogspot.com/ :) Happy reading.

Nothing to complain about.

I recently read a blog that really hit me. I am so grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my freedom, health, happiness and family. Please please PLEASE pray for this little boy.

Daniel, who is now 7 years old, was diagnosed with Medulloblastoma (brain cancer) on August 20, 2009. He was initially treated with surgery, radiation, & chemotherapy. At that time we were told that the prognosis was 70-80% cure rate with a planned treatment course of approx. one year.

Unfortunately, on June 30, 2010 we found out during a followup MRI that his cancer had returned during treatment. His prognosis has gone from a moderate risk to high risk... with expected cure rate of approx. 40%. The plan of action was changed and he underwent a new chemo regimen from July through December 2010.

September 21, 2010 Daniel received a follow up MRI scan that came back with significant improvement (almost undetectable) and the lumbar punture showed no visible signs of cancer cells. This made it that we were able to move forward with the new proposed plan. In December he received High Dose Chemotherapy with Bone Marrow Rescue (where Daniel will be his own bone marrow donor). This was followed by a repeat course of 15 doses of radiation. The Bone Marrow Rescue was followed by 100 days of radiation. All MRI's since have shown no cancer present.

Daniel's July 7, 2011 was supposed to be the final MRI before being on maintenance. It was supposed to be the MRI that said we were done with treatment after 2 years. However, the scan came back showing that the cancer had returned. It is aggressive and resistant. There are no more treatment options left. Daniel will have a few weeks to 1-2 months left with us.
Despite all of this Daniel is a fun-loving, caring, silly, and happy boy. He reminds us daily how precious each moment is.


As many of you know, Daniel had his routine MRI on Thursday. This scan was supposed to be our final scan prior to being on maintenance and finally being done with treatment after 2 years. Only moments after Daniel and I returned home from the MRI, I received a phone call from the BMT doctor. He told me that there was enhancement on the scan which was concerning and that he wanted to meet with us the next day on Friday instead of waiting till Monday. During that meeting Dave and I were told that the cancer has returned and that it is aggressive and resistant. We had the opportunity to meet with the radiologist and look extensively at Daniel's MRI scans both from the day before and the one done back in April that showed no signs of cancer. Unfortunately, the new MRI shows tumor diffusely scattered on the entire surface of his brain and spinal cord. In talking to the BMT doctor, we were told that there were no good treatment options that could cure his cancer. We later talked to his primary oncologist who reiterated this. We were told that we have weeks to possibly 1-2 months left with our sweet Daniel. This news completely floored us as Daniel is doing better than he has done in 2 years and has no symptoms yet. My heart aches and I think I have cried more than humanly possible in the last couple of days.

We can not imagine life without our silly snuggle monkey. We consider ourselves lucky that we found this out now though and we still have a few weeks of Daniel feeling well before he gets sick and we have hospice come in to our home. We still have time to enjoy every moment, make memories, and let Daniel be a kid. Many people don't get this rare opportunity before a loved one passes. A year ago when Daniel's cancer returned the first time (9 months after the first diagnosis and while still undergoing chemo) we went on an amazing Make-A-Wish Trip to Florida to meet Lightning McQueen. We were able to put everything aside, let Daniel be a kid, and forget about it all. As we know we only have a few weeks left of him feeling well, we will be leaving for Disneyland on Wednesday and plan to stay as long as 12 days depending on how Daniel is feeling.

We won't deny that this news is heart-wrenching, but we are comforted to know that Daniel has inspired and touched so many lives in this last year. We have learned and grown immensely during this process. Daniel has taught both Dave and I so much about what life is really about. He has so much insight for a 7 year old. Never once has he complained, he always makes a game out of procedures (his attitude and imagination are incredible), his favorite thing is to make people smile, he makes friends wherever he goes, and he loves unconditionally.

We talked to the Social Worker at Primary Children's and she told us that it is not important for a child his age to understand his prognosis. She told us that we need only answer questions as they arise and allow him to guide us on what he needs to know. So far he does not know that anything is different. He does not understand why I keep crying and tells me "I thought I told you to say get lost to those crocodile tears" or "Where's your smile? Have you lost it? You need to find it, Mom." Many of the things he is saying to comfort me are my own words back. Daniel just wants to see "his two most favorite people on earth" be happy. We are still in shock and realize that the next few weeks to months are probably going to be the most difficult challenge we've ever gone through with losing our seven-year-old child and bringing another life into the world almost at the same time. Daniel is so looking forward to being a big brother and he may not be here physically to see his little brother. There are times when Daniel will rub my tummy, put his ear up to it and say, "Hello, baby brother are you in there? I'm so excited to meet you." Moments like this are going to be very difficult. We will help Daniel to pick out a few gifts for his baby brother and make a video of him talking to his brother.

Daniel is very special. My husband Dave and I have known this for a long time. We have found comfort in our faith and knowing that this life is not the end and that we will be able to be with our sweet Daniel again. This eases the pain a bit. We pray that Daniel is able to enjoy the time he has left and that when that time comes... that it will be as pain-free and quick as possible. Thank you to everyone who has supported us through our journey over the last 2 years. We plan to continue to update this blog during the trip with sweet memories so that everyone who loves and cares for Daniel can share in the precious moments of what time he has left.

- Daniel's Mom

a lot of the time, people don't read things like this. It's a situation you know is happening but can't read about because it's sad. I think it's an awesome reminder of how blessed each one of us are. Please don't take advantage of your ealthy body, family and friends. It's amazing to me to see how well people handle trials. I will constantly be thinking of this handsome guy. If you want to read more about Daniel here is the link to his blog.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/danielallen6

If you want to donate, here is the info.

Bake Sale on July 15th
3-8pm
LDS Church
Corner of 7000 South and 2700 West
in West Jordan
Contact Jen Atwood @ jenjewl@gmail.com to donate and/or help with bake sale.

For donations ONLY - PAYPAL through laniallen79@gmail.com.
It's easy to do. Go to www.paypal.com and click on give money.

Rather interesting..

Today started out pretty annoying.. I support the Mapleton city firemen 100% but I do NOT support them driving up and down Mapleton Main at 6am with their sirens blaring. Firemens breakfast or not.. It was rude.

Today the world ended. I think. No? Oh wait. Nope it didn't.

I knew it wasn't the end. As did many. I mean come on... He said that in 94' and nothing happened! Plus, President Monson would know. Right?

All day at the back of my mind there was that "what if.." that kept Coming out. What if the world did end? Crazy thought. Huh.

Then I thought "don't mock and make rude jokes" as I proceeded to post a mocking facebook status.

Oh well. You're reading this. We are living and the world has failed to end.


My retainer is hurting. Actually, it's causing me quite a bit of pain right now. My fault for not wearing it like I'm suppose to.. Ah!

Also, the baby of the family officially shaves. Newsflash. My family is OLD. Sheesh. I'm old!

Wanna know a secret? I want a baby. For real for real. Bad. If only.

Creep.

Off to bed!

<3

Here is an inspiring blog post.

Right here... would be a very inspiring post. One about how amazing my life is going.. and how lovely the sun is. One about what I have been up to, changes I've made and people I love.

Sadly, this blog isn't on my priority list.

This is nothing new.. Its never been a priority. But I'm REALLY not in the blogging mood.

For now, I leave you with this:

"Take YOUR place, leave YOUR mark, live YOUR life."

I don't know why I love it. I just do.

Ps- I am starting school this fall. Gag. But I will be working my butt off to get into the Nursing program. Itll be hard but worth it. Keep your fingers crossed for me! :) Thanks.

20 week ultrasound.

I had my 20 week ultrasound. Baby Ada is healthy
and growing fast! I decided on the name Ada Madisen. My due date is August 9th.

I just got done painting my nails. Ther are purple.

I still need to post st George pictures.

Annnnnnd I'm in love with Imogen heaps "hide and seek"..

Enough for now.

Meet Ada:


























Oh also, happy April fools.