Fear.

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."
Unknown

I have a slightly un realistic fear.

A long time ago, in a letter/survey from a friend, I was asked; "what is your biggest fear in the world?"

Wanna know what my answer was? Being raped.

Weird huh? I've always had this weird fear of being kidnapped and raped.

Recently, I've had a huge change of mind, and a new fear has set in.

After breaking my back... (and I promise this should be the last post about it!) I realized that there may actually be something that scares me more than being raped!

For 8 weeks, I was off work.

For 7 weeks, I couldn't run,

For 6 weeks, I had to lay flat on my back.

For 5 weeks, I needed help getting out of bed.

For 4 weeks, my mom had to shower me.

For 3 (okay way more than 3) weeks, I relied on pain medicine to get me through the day.

For 2 weeks, I needed help walking or had to be pushed in a wheel chair.

For 1 week, I could barely walk.

I might be in pain for the rest of my life.
BUT, It has been worth it.

There are SO many things I want to do.
I NEED to do.
I CAN do.
I WILL do.

If at anytime I am asked what my biggest fear in te world is... My new answer is; growing up too fast.

It took breaking my back for me to realize how amazing my life is.
How amazing I AM.

I can do so many things with the life I have been given. I'm ONLY 20! There is no need to rush!

This last month I've been asked when I am getting married more times than I can count on 2 hands. I have two beautiful friends that are engaged and will soon become wives. I'm soooo happy for these girls and I love them to death. But, I'm in no hurry to be the next in line. :)

I'm too selfish to get married right now.

I'm too niave.

And I definately don't know myself enough, let alone, know someone else enough to be with for eternity!

I can't wait to see what lies ahead for me. I can't wait to start school, move out, and have time for ME and my life.

The life I've been so blessed to have.

So, here's to a bright future!

And a nursing degree in the near future :)

And EVEN a husband, and kids. In the future.

For now, I'm just a kid.

For now, I'm lovin life.. And soaking ut all in, day by day and a minute at time.

For now, I have to not only have faith in my savior.. But faith in his timing.