Maybe she's a wildflower.

You’ve all seen the picture. You know, the one where God is reaching into the water to pull you out?
You’ve heard that phrase or something like “When you’re drowning, don’t worry- your lifeguard walks on water.”

But what if there was another way to look at it?

You see, when I first saw this picture, I was slightly confused as to why God only offered a hand. Why would he only extend his hand when I am sinking clear to the bottom?
If my child was drowning would I simply stick my hand into the water? No. I would jump in head first with my clothes on, to pull my child out.

That got me thinking, what could be going on under the water in this picture? What is God seeing that I am not?

Maybe He isn’t saving His children from drowning at all.

Three years ago…God saw a sad, depressed, Shay,
intentionally diving further and further into the water.

Distracted and unaware of the dangers that lurked deep in the darkness of the unknown. The further I descended, the more my depression and anxiety increased. The further I got, the further He would reach. He kept reaching out for me, only to be disappointed as I continued distancing myself from Him.

A year or so later, the realization of how scary deep unknown depths of water can be, hit me hard. Depression and anxiety hit an all-time high and I decided to give up my ‘scuba diving’ adventure (if you will) and start swimming towards the surface.

On the way up, on multiple occasions, I got distracted by the fish and coral that reside a few feet under the surface of the water. I hung out in the shallow water for a bit and the depression and anxiety settled some-- God’s hand still reaching out, just feet from me.

Fast forward to today, I have become a pretty good metaphorical swimmer. I am learning that God wants us to choose to reach for Him. He invites us to better ourselves and reach for His hand, but he doesn’t force us. I still easily get distracted by all that is around me, but I am getting closer to the surface. Some days and weeks, I forget to paddle and find myself sinking. And that is okay! I am continually reaching for God’s hand and look forward to feeling more happiness the closer to the surface I get.

I know that depression and anxiety are part of what makes me, me. They will likely never go away, and I am finally okay with that. I also know that the closer I get to Him, the easier it will be, and is to deal with both.

I find comfort that He is still there reaching for me regardless of my decisions. No matter how far I dive or sink, His hand is always extended.

I know that depression can be a scary thing. I know that many people deal with it and that God isn’t the answer for everyone. Medication, therapy, and support from my family and friends are just a few of the things that have helped me and continue to help me get through each day.

This holiday season (when regular depression and seasonal depression mix together for me) I challenge you to find YOUR answer. Find things that help you to get out of the deep, dark water and closer to the surface. Show love to those around you and extend your own hand to others who prefer not to reach for God. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to talk to someone if you are struggling, and don’t forget that you aren’t swimming alone. I AM HERE FOR YOU, and I am a pretty experienced in the deep and dark water.